Turning my “I have to” into an “I get to!”
As we quickly approach the one month mark of our precious girl joining our family, I find myself reflecting on this season. I write this after getting maybe two hours of sleep last night as a result of a reflux flare up. Parenting is hard, as anyone who is one will tell you, but it is also the greatest joy I’ve ever experienced.
As Preston and I were waiting for our girl to arrive in the final weeks before her birth, we walked and talked about our future with her. As I shared with him on one of these walks, in my prayers I felt the Lord encouraging me to turn my “I have to” attitude into an “I get to!” attitude. This was certainly applicable in the last few uncomfortable weeks of pregnancy, with the unknown of labor and delivery looming over me, but has been even more applicable in these first few weeks of parenting.
Many of you know our story - the loss of a baby, three years of failed infertility treatments and an unpromising diagnosis that we would most likely not be able to have children of our own. After years of heartache, loss and confusion, our precious Josie Louise is our miracle girl. A true gift from God. A gift we didn’t earn or deserve; a gift we know we couldn’t have conjured up on our own. It’s been amazing to see the spiritual influence her life has already had on so many. People have witnessed God’s miracle-working power through her tiny life. It has been humbling to see God get the attention, glory and praise from so many on-lookers through the life of a baby who can’t even talk. This is a genuine answer to our prayers and a promise of scripture- for God to be glorified out of our suffering. Although I don’t wish it on anyone, because of our struggle to get pregnant and stay pregnant, I think we have a perspective that is unique to people who have walked this road. However, it is still easy to get caught having an unhealthy attitude. In the midst of a sleepless night when cries ring out again or when I’m covered in spit up for the 5th time in a few hour period, it’s easy to be frustrated. So I’ve been continuing to pray, asking God to turn my “I have to” into an “I get to!” Asking the Lord that even in the small tasks, I would be reminded of the honor and privilege I have in doing them. That I would stop and remember the years of longing for a baby to hold and to comfort.
This sounds simple in theory but it is SO hard to live out. Try as we might, we can’t make this attitude shift on our own. We can’t manufacture or conjure up our own joy or strength. We desperately need the Holy Spirit to help us in this. The Spirit, God’s very self- the same power that raised Jesus from the grave (Romans 8:11) - lives in us as followers of Jesus. This power-source, this comforter, can give us joy, purpose and strength when our tanks are running on empty. The Spirit is the spring of living water, the source that never runs dry (John 7: 37-39; John 4: 14). The Spirit is the only one who can truly transform our “I have to” into an “I get to!” But we often take the Spirit for granted and don’t recognize Him in our lives. We often continue to live in a powerless state, walking around feeling defeated and drained.
So how do we experience this transformation in our lives? Romans 12: 1 -2 says:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Notice here that we can’t renew our own mind, but that God - through His Spirit - is the one who does the mind-renewing. Our job is to submit to him, offer our very self to Him, and to live in communion with Him. Through prayer, worship and reading of His word, we can submit our own will and desires to Him as an act of worship.
Trading our “I have to” for “I get to!” isn’t only applicable to my specific season as a new parent, but can be applied to so many areas of life…
For the student: “I have to do this assignment.” → “I get the privilege of going to school and getting an education.”
For the overworked: “I have to do this project at work.” → “I get the ability to have a job and provide for my family.”
For the Mom who feels like a taxi service: “I have to keep this busy schedule.” → “I get the gift of having a car for transportation and the gift of spending time with my kids.”
For the sick: “I have to go to this doctor’s appointment.” → “I get the privilege of having access to healthcare and medication.”
You get the picture. I could go on and on. Where this might seem simple, I believe it can have powerful ramifications in our lives. Where is the Lord encouraging you to turn your “I have to” into an “I get to!” ? Remember, we don’t (we can’t!) do it on our own, but when we cooperate with the Spirit, our minds can be transformed and we can experience the joy of Jesus, regardless of our circumstances. I don’t write this from a place of perfection; I get it wrong more days than I get it right. Today, I’m believing the Spirit to do a work in my life and in yours.
Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8
